Silent Ranks

The hardest job in the military cannot be classified under any official job title, and has no rank. The silent ranks of the military, we are military spouses. We can sometimes be overlooked when it comes to people serving in the military. Sure we are not in the military, but we still serve beside our soldiers, and so do our children. Civilians fail to realize all that we go through during a deployment. How we have to become mom and dad while our soldiers are away, how much our soldiers miss while they are deployed, and how we still have to carry on without them.

I think the hardest thing for me while my husband was deployed was raising our first child-a boy-by myself while he was gone. I did consider us lucky though. My husband got to witness the birth of our child, and we also got to spend the first month of our son’s life together as a family before he deployed a luxury some military families don’t get. The hardest part wasn’t really raising our son by myself but it was the time that we missed being together as a family. My husband missed a lot of firsts while he was gone, our son’s first smile, laugh, steps, words, etc. Sure I took plenty of pictures and videos but it still was not the same as him being there with us to witness it for himself.

Another thing that I had to get use to was playing the mommy and daddy role while my husband was deployed. For me it wasn’t that bad seeing how we just had our newborn. I considered myself lucky that I didn’t have to explain to our son were daddy was and why he wasn’t going to be home for a long time, like so many spouses have to do. But I did have to play the daddy role when it came to fixing the clogged sink or a flat tire with the car.

The worst part was the stress and worry of it all. I spent that whole year worrying about my husband’s well-being. I didn’t want to answer the door thinking that it could be my husband’s captain and Chaplin telling me that he wouldn’t be coming home. I yearned for those 10-20 minute phone calls letting me know that he was ok for the time being. Waking up every morning by myself wasn’t pleasant either, but I knew that it meant I was one day closer to being with my husband again.

Ultimately I didn’t become a military spouse for the recognition and certainly not for the money but for the love of my soldier, to stick beside him through thick and thin. I too have served in this war, just in a different way, the same way every military spouse does. We are wives and husbands that sometimes have to play both roles, we are the glue that holds everything together while our soldiers are away. We are the silent ranks.