Love and Marriage: Two Interconnected but Separate Entities

I believe in love. In holding hands. The warm fuzzy feeling. Finding that special someone. Happily ever after.

The universal feeling of love appears everywhere—in religions, novels, movies, and on television. Nowadays, the topic of love between two people of the same sex pervades throughout society. Proponents of gay marriage rally on the belief that everyone has the right to love whomever they want.

However, in many cases whenever marriage plays a role with love, a relationship seems to fall apart. The high US divorce rate forces us to question the validity of whether love and marriage go hand in hand. I mean, approximately half of all marriages these days end in divorce (Divorce Rate). Yet, many of these divorced couples still believe in love whether they remarry, continue dating, or remain single.

The majority of people in society share the common belief that love and marriage come hand in hand. Fall in love, get married, have children. Even Frank Sinatra’s song “Love and Marriage” depicts this belief through one of his lyrics: “Love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage.” Despite these lyrics and contrary to popular opinion, love and marriage do not always coexist because love is not defined by marriage. Marriage does not increase or decrease one’s capacity to love nor does marriage uphold love. In several cultures, love and marriage simply do not go together. For example, arranged marriages still exist in the Middle East, South Asia, and East Asia.

So do gay marriage supporters really have the authority to “fight for love”? No. We all have the capacity to love whomever we want regardless of if we’re married or not.

I believe love can exist not only between a man and a woman but also between people of the same sex. By not legalizing gay marriage, the government does not prevent two people from loving each other. It merely means that a gay couple cannot get married. They can, however, still love each other. On the other hand, the government does have the power to issue and deny legal rights to certain citizens.

As a whole, let’s focus on the bigger issue at hand: whether gay marriage is more a question of love or legal rights. When the idea of love forces itself upon the fight for gay marriage, I advise others to take a step back and truly think. I urge advocates of gay marriage to fight for a more worthwhile cause: legal rights, not marriage. If you believe that in supporting gay marriage, you are advocating universal love, you are wrong. I believe that in the future gay couples will acquire the same legal rights given to heterosexual married couples but not through the legalization of gay marriage. Emma Goldman says, “If the world is ever to give birth to true companionship and oneness, not marriage, but love will be the parent.” I believe in love.