A Family Tradition

Small family traditions leave us with lasting memories. They can also help us to become better people. This I believe.

In the years before my Mom died, we celebrated a tradition of creating and sharing goals for the New Year -they were our “Life Hopes”. It started with everyone secretly writing down on a small piece of paper what they wanted in the New Year. The notes were placed in a small gold cardboard box, sealed with a wax stamp and put away for safe keeping until the following year when they would be brought out and shared. Each person would read what they had written in the previous year, laughing, showing pride or disappointment in the things that they had or had not accomplished. Once everyone was finished, there was time to secretly write new “Life Hopes” for the coming year. It was kind of silly in a way, all of us sitting around writing down and sharing our lists. Some took it seriously, and others, not so much. I liked this tradition because it gave us a little time to share; a way to learn a bit more about the people in our lives that we call our family.

The Christmas after my Mom’s passing, I found the box that had never been shared from the year before. It had everyone’s paper neatly folded and waiting to be read; all except my Mom’s; hers was blank. She probably knew that the cancer that had so quickly taken over her body would not let her live to see another Christmas. Maybe she had given up, but I always felt that she wanted to grow old and see her children and grandchildren grow up. I will never know. I wish that I had gotten to know her better, not as a mother, but as a person. I never took the chance to do that because I never took the time to ask.

So as you plan your New Year’s Resolutions, your hopes for the future, your dreams, share them with family and friends, share them with anyone that will listen. Share who you are, what you want and what you need. Don’t be afraid. Know that people in your life care about you, love you and want to know about you, even if they don’t ask. You can then continue to affirm your life and the legacy that you were meant to leave when it is your time to pass on.