Becoming My Parents’ Child

All of my deepest-held beliefs about what a leader should be come from the examples set by my parents. My father taught me that a good leader learns to be good because it is what is best for his followers, not because it will reflect well on him. His job was a true expression of this: as a Battalion Chief at the local fire department, my father was responsible for coordinating the team during fires…he had to be a good leader, because being good kept his guys alive. My mother was my model for fortitude as a leader. She taught Business Management and Accounting at a local community college for over thirty years. Between teaching overloads, department chair duties, and, oddly enough, the leadership of the Agriculture Department’s instructional farm (presumably given to her so that it would finally make some money), her work days were long and hard.

I’ve had the example of two of the best leaders imaginable my entire life; they have ingrained an ethical code into my very bones, and I don’t think I could do anything but lead by their example. Just through my watching them, they have made me value what they value: honesty, loyalty, responsibility. After several experiences with leaders who are not as honest, loyal, or unselfish as my parents, I’ve come to the realization that their leadership values are mine. As I begin my leadership experiences, they will be my template.

I must admit, I’ve always felt it is a little daunting to be a leader—at least to be the only kind of leader that I am willing to be. It is certainly a lot of responsibility and a lot of work. On top of that, I don’t have much experience in leading anything and I don’t have many opportunities at the moment. However, the characteristics that I feel make a leader great can be practiced without followers; honesty, responsibility, hard work—these are not strictly the province of leadership. So, until I am a leader, I will try every day to model these traits in everything I do so that when an opportunity to lead comes along, they will be instinctive, not awkward. It helps that I’ve learned over time that I enjoy hard work and I like knowing that my efforts will make a difference, even if it is only in a small way…

I’ve finally come to accept that I am my parents’ child—I can’t do anything other than my best without being unhappy. Mistakes happen, and as long as they are honestly made, doing what I felt was best, I can live with them. I will stumble as I learn to be a leader, but as long as I don’t give up, I can get there. I can be a leader who is protective of her followers, who works hard until the job is done, and who is stubborn when it comes to what is right. In fact, I can’t do anything less.