Not Just another Member of the Herd

For years, my parents have told me, “You don’t ‘follow the herd,’ and that’s a good thing.” I do not concern myself with what other people think about my beliefs or choices. What would happen to people if everyone considered what everyone else would do before making every decision? People probably would end up doing things that might seem sensible for other people but not for themselves. What if someone who had a dog dander allergy got a dog because she was the only one of all her friends who didn’t have one? She would make a poor decision because her friends thought it was right for them and she wanted to demonstrate her similarity to her friends. People who follow the herd can find themselves in far more dangerous situations than living with a dog while allergic to it. I believe in minimizing the impact of other people’s opinions on my life.

Worrying about what other people think wastes time and energy. I have better things to do than consider what everyone I know will think of me if I do this or that. If I see something as right for me, I’ll do it. I do not care whether other people share that decision with me. I do not want to be another member of the herd who runs when everyone else runs and eats when everyone else eats.

I’m not sure when I realized I disagree with following the herd. The belief is very clear to me now, but I can remember a time in elementary school when I worried about fitting in with everyone else. Of course, people have different beliefs, abilities, and goals, whether they like it or not, but a large group of people shared, or appeared to share, some choices, and I tried to imitate those people. Even if only a few of my friends wanted to do something, I would say I did, too, so I would fit in with them better. I remember playing certain games with my friends during recess. We would pretend to be animals. I often assumed the identity of a moose, and my friends, wolves, hunted me. I ran around and shouted, “Moose!” because I did not know how to imitate the sounds of a moose. I had fun as a moose, but sometimes I would stop and think about whether the other people at recess thought of my friends and me as weird for playing the games we invented. Most of the other kids played basketball, soccer, or kickball while I ran around with my arms on top of my head as antlers and yelled, “Moose! Moose!” and my friends growled and chased me. Looking back on these experiences, I regret that I took the time to listen to that little voice in my head that made me wonder what other people thought about our games.

Now, I ignore that little voice in my head most of the time. I do not care whether other people, no matter the size of the group, do not agree with something I choose to believe or do. I do not find other people’s opinions worthless. I consider the advice of a few people who know me well when I make decisions, but when I begin thinking about the opinions of most people, I have gone too far on a quest for acceptance. People have different qualities and should let others understand that through their choices.