This I Believe

THIS I BELIEVE

As I’ve listened to the “This I Believe” essays on NPR over the weeks, I’ve been moved and inspired by the personal statements made by those who have read their heart-felt beliefs on the air.

Yet, I do not feel one of them. You see, I do not believe. Born as I was at the fulcrum point of last century — a century notable for vast betrayals — I have seen a steady procession of leaders, mystics, musers, pundits, presidents, politicians, priests, preachers, gurus, grooves, and assorted hypocrites, impostures, charlatans, and others whose firm belief, despite their endorsements of noble intent, has been their own self-importance. The nut of what they had to say was always the same thing, regardless of how likely their offers, commands, or actions were to cause harm to me and to others. The message? “Trust me.”

“I know what is best for you. Trust me and you will be free.”

“Trust me and you will be rich.”

“Trust me and you’ll find Paradise.”

“Take a hit of this one and you’ll see God.”

Etc.

By trusting them, I learned I would find myself immersed in rice paddies under fire, be cheated of the rights they told me were mine and unalienable, be relieved of the little cash I had, and that the beliefs they had insisted I should hold would turn as dry as ashes in my mouth and my embittered soul would shrivel with gall. All this while standing up for my country, right or wrong.

I turned away from all those messages, running the opposite direction as fast as I could. The Trust Me signal was no more than a Pavlovian bell to summon me to the smorgasbord of belief agendas.

Belief means to accept on faith. To adopt without questioning. Believers find that believing is itself a virtue and by implication, not believing is a sign of serious moral deficiency and spiritual decay. My reluctance to believe, therefore, is a thing I must conceal if I don’t wish to be marked as a–

–and here you may insert the term which the believer of the moment most adhors and wishes that I would wear as my Red Letter.

I am unadverse to letting others hold whatever beliefs they wish or need. It’s just that I prefer another path, stated simply as “Be open to everything; believe nothing.” Question, explore, consider, and evaluate. Appreciate beliefs that are offered, but don’t buy in. The world is full of wonders, so wonder. Wonder why, wonder how, wonder when. Wonder what if. Long for, honor, and respect, but do not dedicate oneself to a single way beyond question. And most of all, acknowledge honorable actions over boastful words.

10/19/05

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