Easy to Forgive, Hard to Forget

Avril - San Francisco, California
Entered on November 5, 2009
Age Group: Under 18
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I believe that it’s easy to forgive, but hard to forget. It’s easy to say “I forgive you,” but when life goes on, I can’t forget about that time when someone did something to me.

I haven’t seen my dad since I was four years old. It’s been 11 years that I haven’t seen him, but I tried to stay in contact with him. In my culture, people make a big party every time their daughters turn 15; it is called a quinceañera. Well I had a quinceañera, and what I always wanted was to have my dad in my quinceañera. That was what I always dreamed of since I was a little girl. I remember I invited my dad to my party a month before my quince, and he said he was going to be there. I felt so happy that I even started jumping around as if I was a little girl. I was so exited and I couldn’t wait for that day to come. I kept on planning my quince, having on mind my dad was going to be there. I was going to finally see him.

While I was planning my quince I pictured a father and daughter dance, with my big dress, high heels and him with a black tuxedo with the traditional quinceañera music, with lights of different colors lighting us. Everybody would be just looking at us dancing, just making that day really special. I just couldn’t wait for that day to come. My mom told me not to get too exited because we weren’t sure if he was really going to come. My mom didn’t want me to get disappointed. She knew that was going to make me hate him even more.

Finally the day came up, I was ready to have fun with my friends and family. But I had the feeling my dad wasn’t going to show up at all. I didn’t really trip about it because I was just hoping for him to come. While I was at my party all my family and friends were there but the only one who was missing was my dad. I felt like my heart broke, just like it somebody punched me really hard, but I didn’t lose my hopes. When I was supposed to dance the main dance, my dad wasn’t there. I felt like slapping him really bad, but I just acted like he didn’t exist at all. I had to dance with my step dad; I was glad he was there. After this incident I decided to let it go and just to have fun at my party.

He never called me to apologize or explain why he never came to my party. I forgave him even though I can’t forget the fact that he did that to me because that day was a really special day for me, and because I’m not going to have another chance to have a quince. So that really affected me.

I believe it’s easy to forgive but hard to forget. I am never going to forget what my had have done to me.