I Believe That Life Goes On

I’m 10 years old, and my heart is breaking. I’ve received terrible news that my father’s car caught on fire, and he’s very badly burnt. No one knows how long he’s going to make it, but as a hopeful ten year old, I was praying he’d stick around.

I pretty much was my dad. I had his eyes, his nose, his mouth, his curly hair, and his build. I had his sense of humor, his artistic talents, his interests, and his intelligence. We were so much alike in so many ways, and I wish that could’ve pulled him through.

My dad passed away that year on November 5th. He was my best friend. He understood me. He loved me unconditionally. He listened to me. He laughed with me. He cried with me. He was the most exceptional person I’ve ever known, and for some reason he left me in this big scary world alone. As much as I was devastated by my loss, I’ve learned… that life goes on.

I’m 13 years old, and my heart is breaking… again. I’ve come home from an eventful evening of sled riding with my aunt, uncle, and cousin, and received, yet again, earth shattering news; this time from my grandmother. My mother had committed suicide. It was December 18th… a week before Christmas.

I’m nothing like my mom. I don’t look like her. I don’t have the same interests as her. I don’t have any talents she had. The only thing we have in common is our big, gummy smile. Despite our lack of similarities and our hardships, my mother and I were really close. She understood me. She loved me unconditionally. She listened to me. She laughed with me. She cried with me. She was an amazing mom, and losing her was one of the hardest things I’ve dealt with, along with my dad. Through it all though, life went on.

While going through my losses, I had no idea what to do with myself. I felt like the world was stopping, or at least that it should. My holidays were never the same; there’s just always something missing. My birthdays were lonely because I couldn’t share them with the people who brought me into this world. My dad’s not going to walk me down the aisle. They aren’t going to be there for my high school graduation or college. I felt depressed and unstable, and I felt like the whole world should be mourning with me. That though, is not the case. My family and I mourned for a long period of time, and there are days that I still mourn for my parents or anyone that I’ve lost. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever been through, but I’ve pulled through it with my head held high doing the best I can do in anything I do, for them. I’ve become the best person I can be, and I give the credit to my belief, that life goes on.