I Believe Chocolate Milk and Sesame Street Fixed Me for the Better

At the age of 17 I was focused on the future that I felt I was entitled. I was a good student, always had a smile on my face, and I was always surrounded with the people I loved. I spent my time with friends and applying to colleges. In the middle of my senior year my focus went from college applications to nurseries and toys and in the time it took for the person I loved to turn their back on me I changed from a 17 year old to a 30 year old. I became a mother and although the changes I went through were profound, they were beneficial. I became a better person.

Changes happen to us on a daily basis, some have lasting effects, some last five minutes. Mine will last a lifetime. I changed my perception from worrying about what others think of me to realizing that there are more important things in life. I changed from focusing on myself to focusing on others instead. And I choose to change my daughter’s life by taking everything I’ve learned and teaching her not to make the same mistakes.

In high school, I strived to be the “good” girl. I didn’t drink, I didn’t party, and I got good grades. I had a lot of friends but I avoided parties where the goal was to get trashed. I was focused on applying to colleges, and working. I had a great job, and at the time a great boyfriend. I was so concerned with how others perceived me that that was my focus. Being what others considered “perfect”. After finding out I was pregnant, I began changing. I realized that what others thought of me or the decisions I was making weren’t important to me. Everyone had something to say, whether it be about getting child support, to thinking about adoption. Everyone felt the need to drop in their two cents. I wish I could’ve just pushed an ignore button. I have now realized that no matter what others think, what they say or what they do, that I will make it. That I will be ok. And by no longer worrying about what others think I can focus more on worrying about others instead of just myself.

Everyone starts off selfish; I believe were born with it (not that that is an excuse). But I also believe we can choose to change it. Some people are superior enough to change on their own, some a situation changes their perspective. Mine was the latter. By making the choice to keep my baby when the choice to give her up was the easier of the two I found that I cared more about that little person than I had ever cared about anyone. She mattered, not what college I would go to, or what job I would get, or who I would date….Just her. Now that she is in my life I believe it’s my job to protect her from the mistakes I have made and teach her to be better than them.

By teaching her not to make the same mistakes I did, I can teach her to be better. I can teach her that what other people think isn’t important. I can teach her that caring about others over herself is a good quality in a person. I can teach her to be the person I am now.

In close, yes I believe having my daughter changed me. It changed me into a better person and it has taught me lessons I don’t think I could have learned otherwise. I used to look forward to sleeping in and MTV now I look forward to Sesame Street, and Chocolate milk kisses.