Record and Relive

Julie - Des Plaines, Illinois
Entered on May 26, 2009
Age Group: Under 18

I’ve never been one of those people that could keep up with a journal. So, when I bought a voice recorder, it was odd that I actually found use in it and recorded my thoughts every night for a month.  It was more for a use as a present for my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day, seeing as how I am in constant contact with him and always had him on my thoughts.  As more of a continuing gift, he returned it to me so I could still record.   However, soon after I started recording again, I lost the rhythm and motivation to continue on every night. 

Recently, I came to the point in which every little thing he does annoys me and it was driving me nuts.  Those little things started adding up and I was close to ending our relationship.  He was letting himself slip away into a different person, one that he and I both didn’t like.  He became stubborn, lazy, and he didn’t do things he said he would.  I became just so sick of it and I was not going to stay with him if things didn’t change.  Cautiously, I let him have another chance but it was a small one.  If one thing went wrong, I’d be done.  I am to leave during summer and coming home to an unhappy relationship was not something I wanted to do.  When I told him the last statement, he took it to heart and vowed to change.  Still unsure of him, I didn’t say much of anything else.  The night of when I told him of all of it, I found my recorder of all things.  The last recording was still so long ago. But, for laughs at how stupid I think I sounded, I decided to play the last message. Memories flooded my mind of past feelings, ones I couldn’t understand why I forgot. Though I listened to all of the other messages on the recorder, I only needed to hear one to know I was happy where I was at.

To put my belief into words, I’d say I believe in voice recorders. One simple thought could transcend time to be heard later on and in my case, help the present and possible future. Thenceforth, I’d learned to keep small or important memories to remind me to think clearly and to possibly have a plain good laugh.