This i Believe

chelsea - phoenix, Arizona
Entered on May 12, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: forgiveness
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I believe in the will to forgive others. When you choose not to forgive, in the end you only hurt yourself. Those feelings of hatred and bitterness only come to eat at your soul. Forgiving those who have wronged you can only make you a stronger and more merciful person. But learning how to forgive is the hardest part of truly pardoning.

As a child growing up on the tropical island of Hawaii, I never imagined it would ever come to an end. But slowly my house was not a home and my family were not people I wanted to spend time with. It was more like a war zone than the family I used to know. My mother would cry daily and question my dad about what was going on, but he would only deny any accusations and walk away. It went on for months and finally it started to make sense.

The smiles that had been able to hide my father’s lies were starting to fade away and everything began to unravel .Everything was becoming clearer but I still could not understand how he could hurt us so badly. My family would never be the same and my parents were seeking a divorce. After years of all his betrayal we came to find, he had been cheating. Worst of all, he was going to be marrying the same lady who ruined all that had ever mattered to me. I was hurt, ashamed and scared. I hated them both, which started to put me into a whole world of depression. I started to get sick and fail in school. I was always moping and mad at the world. I thought it was my fault and I did not know what I did. Months later I started to see that I was only a child and it had nothing to do with me.

It was not until I realized that it was not my fault and I started to mature when I started to see the truth. My dad was his own person who made his own mistakes. It did not mean he did not love me; he had made a wrong choice. The day I started to forgive him was the day I started to become stronger and eventually happier. Releasing the pain helped me to grow and become a stronger, more independent person. It was not until that day I could truly breathe easier when I forgave him.