Here for a Reason; Not for a Season

Every day I face hundreds of ways to die. The fact that I am still

here, still alive, has to mean something. I believe it means I have a

purpose, and even though I don’t know what that purpose may be, I know that

it is one of the things keeping me alive.

A few months ago I wrecked my dads 4-wheeler. I had it in 5th gear on a

dirt read, which wasn’t very smart. It was also dark, which made my decision

just that much more dangerous. I ended up missing a turn, and the 4-wheeler

threw me into the ground face first at around 45 mph. Somehow I escaped

with very minor injuries, and only needed three staples in my head. That

wreck easily could have seriously injured me, or even killed me, but it

didn’t. I feel that there is a reason for that.

Being carried safe from harm is an amazing thing to go through, and

every day it enters my thoughts. It is a part of my life now, constantly

reminding me that I have a purpose, no matter how small or big it may be.

I am also a Christian, and I believe that God told me I have a purpose

when I was very young. He showed me the spirit of the Holy Ghost, something

most people will never see. It poured out of the baptismal like water, and

covered everybody’s feet. Seeing that scared me to death at the time, but

since then I have thought about it and I believe that it was God’s way of

saying he has a purpose for me.

When I was young, I was carefree and all I ever did was just enjoy

life. Everything seemed perfect, and my parents knew everything. As I

started growing older, I began to realize that I needed more than just fun.

I needed to have a purpose. My need for purpose is pending, for I have not

found my purpose yet. But if I live my life as close to perfect as I can

(which, quite frankly, isn’t close at all), then I know I will find my

purpose. That desire keeps me motivated, and I remind myself of the search

every morning.

My life isn’t anywhere near perfect, and to think that I have a purpose

is sometimes hard to conceive. But if I think back on my life, and

particularly on those two incidents, then I feel more at ease; more like I

really do have a purpose, and even if its really small, it matters, and when

I find that purpose, my life will be complete.