Every day I face hundreds of ways to die. The fact that I am still
here, still alive, has to mean something. I believe it means I have a
purpose, and even though I don’t know what that purpose may be, I know that
it is one of the things keeping me alive.
A few months ago I wrecked my dads 4-wheeler. I had it in 5th gear on a
dirt read, which wasn’t very smart. It was also dark, which made my decision
just that much more dangerous. I ended up missing a turn, and the 4-wheeler
threw me into the ground face first at around 45 mph. Somehow I escaped
with very minor injuries, and only needed three staples in my head. That
wreck easily could have seriously injured me, or even killed me, but it
didn’t. I feel that there is a reason for that.
Being carried safe from harm is an amazing thing to go through, and
every day it enters my thoughts. It is a part of my life now, constantly
reminding me that I have a purpose, no matter how small or big it may be.
I am also a Christian, and I believe that God told me I have a purpose
when I was very young. He showed me the spirit of the Holy Ghost, something
most people will never see. It poured out of the baptismal like water, and
covered everybody’s feet. Seeing that scared me to death at the time, but
since then I have thought about it and I believe that it was God’s way of
saying he has a purpose for me.
When I was young, I was carefree and all I ever did was just enjoy
life. Everything seemed perfect, and my parents knew everything. As I
started growing older, I began to realize that I needed more than just fun.
I needed to have a purpose. My need for purpose is pending, for I have not
found my purpose yet. But if I live my life as close to perfect as I can
(which, quite frankly, isn’t close at all), then I know I will find my
purpose. That desire keeps me motivated, and I remind myself of the search
My life isn’t anywhere near perfect, and to think that I have a purpose
is sometimes hard to conceive. But if I think back on my life, and
particularly on those two incidents, then I feel more at ease; more like I
really do have a purpose, and even if its really small, it matters, and when
I find that purpose, my life will be complete.