Life presents itself as an easy-to-get, walk-in-the-park agenda. In several instances one gets off the track and ventures into life’s twisted pleasures and deceptions. As the desire for power openly intertwines with greed, life exposes its true identity, thus revealing my belief in fire.
Pain reigns through everyday life, most often in stealth. Nobody would deliberately hurt themselves, would they? I recall an instance when I marveled at the gaseous energy source. I speculated over how it danced in the heater with its flamboyant arrays of color. A beautiful show it was. I desired to participate in the ballet of sparks and pigments. As I reached out towards the fire (wanting it to stretch as well), I jerked my hand back in rapid synchronism, frowning at the fire’s rejection towards my acquaintanceship. I felt pain. Lonely, quiet, and misunderstood – I chose the life of an outsider. I pondered why fire never removed itself from the confined boundaries in which it remained – this powerful, damaging combustion that devastates households and people, trapped in a small, simple machine. But as I never reached out to others, the fire never reached out to others. As I gave chance to openness, it mimicked.
Furthermore, fire provides a clear view on openness. Life hands out limited freedom to people for them to do so much, but it also traps the people as well. Often times I view candles. The flame on the wick stretches and flickers, but it remains on the wick, just as it was placed. This metaphor reflects wholly upon my life in general. I reached out into the world in order to find new boundaries, but, for the most part, like the wick I remained at the landscape from which I was placed – home.
Sadly, I was injected with his greed – this lust for superiority. Just as a flame needs a spark, everything must have an influence in order to develop. Consequently, I began my development. It was mandatory that I be pushed into a situation or state-of-being before I reacted in my natural way. My friends often did things I felt were wrong, but I didn’t care. All I knew was to follow. I reacted like a match. I was struck roughly and swiftly on what I considered a “strong foundation” and instantly exploded into a persona that defined “me.” As I continued to grow older, I fortunately chose my decisions independently, although some were not as bright as others; some even grew to be out of my reach, and I was unaided. As fire grasps homes and brings them down in its nonchalant onslaught, I reminisce on my taste for power and how it so quickly fell, just like a house would.
I understand deception, I understand freedom, and I even understand the desire for power now. Fire can invoke a house just as easily as life’s temptations can entice a person. But, the question is this: Will I burn in that flame again?