A Purpose for Everyone
Letting go of an afflicting past was the most complicated thing that I have ever had to accomplish. I had just started to let go of the painful thoughts and feelings of my past. I was given up for adoption when I was an infant. I found my self trying to make sense of all the things that have happened to me in my past. Why were my sisters, and brothers and I given up for adoption? It was incomprehensible why my adopted mother, who adopted me fourteen years ago, gave up her parental rights.
I could not control the feelings my biological mother. Honestly, part of me today is glad that she did it. The other part of me didn’t understand at one time. If it weren’t for this, I would probably be locked away in prison somewhere, or even dead. After what my adopted mother did, I realized that she should have stayed committed to a promise. I am thankful I have gained courage to move on. I do not look back and regret things that have happened. I am letting go, and letting the healing process begin.
I found myself questioning God; why had he allowed so many unfortunate things to occur in my life? I even questioned why he had sent my adopted mother to adopt me. It was uneasy to live with someone so hard to please. I later discovered those weren’t questions that were going to be answered. I was given many signs that things weren’t going to get easier. I even had the sense that the uneasy things were going to help me out in the long run. My Papaw Coy, who I had lived with for an abbreviated amount of time, died shortly after I had gotten into trouble with the juvenile court system. Papaw and I had so many conversations about my problems. When he died, I lost apart of myself, and I felt things weren’t going to get much easier.
I was sent to a place called HVCRC in January. It has helped me with a lot of my emotional problems. I was given this book called The Purpose Driven Life. It directed me in so many ways. The book gave me spiritual guidance how to forgive those who have hurt me, and then move on. It was hard at first, but it happened. So much has happened to me that I know there is a purpose for me on earth. I felt worthless at times, but all of that has changed in the past six months. I got tired of using hate and hurt feelings as an excuse for not moving on.
The unfortunate, painful circumstances that have taken place were just tests to see how the person would respond. If I can make it through them, any one can. Things will get better. I believe anybody can overcome situations that seem impossible. There is a purpose for everybody.