My life Philosophy

Victoria - Rapid City, South Dakota
Entered on May 3, 2009
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family, hope, setbacks

“The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” A famous quote from Lao Tzu. Like many people this may apply to their philosophy, and also mine. With this quote I can keep moving on in my life, and really become what I want to be when I get older.

I’ve always been a person who loves to cook, and someday I want to own a restaurant. I also like to write a lot and I may be young, but I am writing a book with one of my best friends Holly. When I grow up I would love to be a writer and a chef, but sometimes I don’t think I can do that. When I write I feel as if I’m in a world of ponies and unicorns, and also when I cook. Although sometimes I don’t think I can do certain things I still try and never give up.

I always keep my head up, even when there’s something bothering me, now. When I was in fifth grade I was very depressed, and my head was always down. I had no friends and I didn’t want to have anything to do with my family. I became so depressed that I started cutting and I never talked to any body, nobody ever knew what was wrong with me and to me it didn’t seem like they cared. I was suicidal and I was close to killing myself, but I think I had a guardian angel watching me. When I was in the bathroom with the blade it felt like something grabbed my hand and someone whispered into my ear “don’t do it” so I put it down and cried myself to sleep that night. After all that happened I was happier, and I soon made some friends which helped me hold my head up high even in the darkest of times.

Now my parents are going through a divorce, and my dad is moving back to Indianapolis. I’m starting to get back into my depression, but without the whole cutting thing. I’m sad, but I will still hold my head up high although I feel like I want it to be held down. I now live with my aunt, I really don’t like her, but I still try to be respectful. When I started living with her I noticed a lot of my things went missing, also my keys to the basement and the garage. I’m mostly staying with my older brother Peter because I don’t want to deal with my aunt, my older sister Flo is in a hospital in Yankton, and so is my older brother Benjamin. Richard another one of my older brothers is in Iraq, and my favorite older brother Patrick is stationed in Japan. I miss all of them and I hope to see them soon.

When I talk about my life like this I feel very emotional, and I also feel like I’m taking a ton of weights off my shoulders. I’ve lost many people I love in my life and I feel as though I’m losing me too. I know that if I keep trying someday I will get out and soon follow my dreams and I never want to turn back when I get out. “The miracle is not to fly in the air, or walk on the water; but to walk on the earth.”