Caitlin - Ruma, Illinois
Entered on April 30, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30
  • Listen to This I Believe on RadioPublic

  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.

My phone always vibrates at the worst time. Michael has always been terrible with timing. Since our last break up things have been a little different. We had just gotten back together and I was somewhat happy but it just wasn’t as easy as it used to be. Hopefully, things would start looking up again for us. I was in the middle of taking a test in my English class when my cell phone vibrated in my pocket; I flipped open and read who the text message was from, Prince Charming. I proceeded to press the green button to read the simple message that sent anger, sadness, adrenaline, and disappointment through my veins: Things aren’t the same anymore. We need to break up. I’m sorry. Tears instantly welled in my eyes.

I’ve always been decent at hiding my feelings but when I read the message holding back those tears was very difficult for me. To ensure a clean break I simply replied: Okay…I understand. Then I immediately turned my phone off to ignore whatever reason he was going to give me to justify what he was doing. I didn’t want to hear it. His only reason for breaking up with me was so that he could get the final word and that somehow would ease his mind on letting me go. But, I knew him better than that. Turning my phone off would send him running back, and that’s exactly what I did. Even with strong, confident thoughts my eyes still burned with the desire to cry. I needed a release. The test no longer held my attention.

I needed to golf. As soon as that simple thought crossed my mind I could almost smell the lush green fairways from my seat in room 205. After school I raced home in my little Ford Ranger, picked up my golf clubs, and headed for town at mach 5. When I arrived at the golf course I couldn’t help but feel completely content and at peace with everything. It was my own little world. I went inside the small quaint brick club house and paid Phyllis my one dollar fee for 9 holes.

After getting loose on the first tee box Michael crossed my mind once again and a wave of sadness washed over me like a tidal wave. He wouldn’t be waiting for me when I got home for dinner and surely my mother would ask me what I did this time to make him upset. I shook it off and addressed my ball with a tsunami of tears in my deep brown eyes. I drew a deep breath and exhaled with a swing that was more powerful than any I have ever attempted. I was suddenly awestruck in how far and straight the ball soared. Suddenly my pearly white ball dropped 30 feet shy of the hole and rolled to the edge of the fringe. That’s not too bad on a 300 yard par four.

I believe that golf has the ability to heal all wounds. It only takes one memorable shot to make everything in the world seem right again. There are an infinite amount of emotional variables that play into ones golf game. Golf will always be my release.