A Shadowy Past

Colby - Las Cruces, New Mexico
Entered on April 30, 2009
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family, setbacks
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Everyone has a past. Everyone has done something wrong, especially in the past. The horrible thing is it stays with you. Even though you try to forget it, and you can at times, it still stains your heart. But there are people like me whose past is still at war in their hearts. You may think that I’m lying, but I’m serious! The one person at war in my heart is my dad!

I guess my dad thinks I’m just invisible. I never existed. In my heart I’m at war! Have you ever felt happy and angry at the same person? Well, that’s what I’m dealing with my dad. I love my dad, but I’m so angry at him for what he did to me! I know this sounds greedy, but he chose my step-mom over me. He said I come second in his life, but I feel like I come in last place! Now I want him to call me because I don’t hear from him often, but he wants me to call him. He says I don’t call him much, but he has no idea what I have to keep track of! My dad doesn’t go to school; he has no dogs to watch, no homework to do, and extra-curricular classes to go to!

If you’re wondering why I’m mad, then listen to this story. It all started when I was a young boy. I was living in a trailer park with my parents. The trailer park was owned by my grandparents on my dad’ side of the family. My mom had left for work. My dad asked me if I wanted to go see Starwars II. Of course I wouldn’t miss out on that! When we got there I saw a woman waving at my dad. My dad waved back at her! He said she was a friend, so I went along with it. After the movie my dad told me not to tell my mom I thought he didn’t want me to make her jealous. My mom finally caught on to my dad’s lie, and that’s when things got out of hand.

I felt very guilty about not telling her. I asked her if I was in trouble for not telling so I put my head down ready for her to yell right at me. Turns out I got my dad into more trouble! He caused my mom so much pain that she took me to my grandparent’s house so she could get away! Their fighting still rang in my ears all night; it was so hard to fall asleep. Even my most useful treatment, video games, couldn’t help me.

Sure, my mom has cried many times, but that was horrible! I believe that everyone has to suffer pain at least once. You can’t avoid it. Even still, I can never forgive my father, not even a million bucks could make me!