This I believe….
I have always had trouble finding the good things in people or events, call me a life long pessimist. I have known this about myself for a while now. When you think this way it starts to seep into you own happiness, your always thinking about how your going to get screwed out of that night out on the town or how you can’t stand people that don’t know how to park, or how your significant other is going to disappoint you. It can at times consume you.
I came to a realization just a few months ago about this. My wife and I had been going through a tough patch. She didn’t like being around me and I resented her for a number of things she was doing. We let our relationship get trapped in a downward spiral. She didn’t want to be around me so she was never home she was never home so I resented her even more. I finally realized that if things between us were going to get better I had to change, I had to make her want to be around me before anything constructive for our relationship could happen. Since then we have worked things out and are quite happy with each other but those few miserable months taught me a lot.
It takes a lot of work to be unhappy and pessimistic like I was, more work than just appreciating things for what they are and accepting them. No one wants to be around a pessimist. You have to find your own happiness. Find something that your grateful for, something that your amazed by, or someone you adore and take that thing and embrace it for everything that it is. Don’t try to change it, you wont be able to, just take it and find your happiness in it. I find myself having to do this everyday. I will be cursing that person that cannot seem to get their car into a single parking space or yelling at the dogs because they want to go out. When I catch myself in these situations I stop and try to ask myself why and then I think about that one thing that above everything else makes me happy. I struggle with this everyday but not being miserable has gone a long way in changing my life for the better.