Most of my life has been about school. I had a natural talent in high school to burn through reading assignments and finish math worksheets with ease. I was born into a family with no real economic troubles, who expected that their two sons do only two things; the best you can achieve and whatever you wish to aspire to. Perhaps this is why my childhood and adolescence I was seen as one of the ‘good kids.’
I grew up in a Lutheran family. My grandfather, on my mother’s side, was a minister for the entirety of his working life, and attended service regularly until the day of his death. He was ordained under the eye of the Missouri Synod and preached in a number of churches. His career was finished in Emanuel Lutheran church in East Aurora, New York. I was about as good of a Christian kid that you could’ve possibly imagined. I attended both years of my confirmation class, got myself confirmed, and than continued to help co-teach the class for two years after. The Church was the most important staple in my life.
What happened, than, when I left for college? Being the math major that I am, I will break it down like I would a difficult equation. While I enjoy visiting my church now and again, I no longer attend service every week. While I have not dropped my beliefs completely, I am not that Christian kid of the past. Don’t think this means that everything taught to me at my Liberal Arts college has refuted my former beliefs, but it has taken a good deal of time away from me. I think back amongst my years of work and school balancing, and I have a hard time remembering a free Sunday morning that was not dedicated to working on homework.
Now look at the variables and the constants of the equation. My major in school is in Education. After I finish my college education I wish to be a high school math teacher. Where did this come from, though? I do not have any immediate family members that were teachers. Also, while I did enjoy my math classes in high school, my passion was English. Early on in my college career, though, I had decided that my passion for learning English did not juxtapose itself to a passion for teaching English.
So what is the solution to this equation? While I find stories about God reaching his hand into people’s lives, giving them advice, or even speaking to them, to be farce, I do believe that there is divine help on some personal levels. God has not left me, and I have not lost sight of God. Though being in the world on my own presents many problems God is still there. I thank him everyday for helping me to find my passion and ask for guidance as I continue and finish my formal education.