I see life as positive but negative underneath. I have held my losses and my gains hidden from judgments. Scared to be hurt and vulnerable. I have fought many different obstacles. I have won and lost many battles going through life.
I fell for my friend; he was a great part of my life. He worked with me and he went to school with me. We decided that we would date. He took me to the end of our four months with extremely strong feelings. The sunset, the sound of his voice slowly saying the three words with so much meaning behind them.
The next three months were full of love and happiness. I fell in love with him and gave him all of me. The feeling of love, I have realized is very rare and hard to find. I had to find the strength and will power to give my unconditional love without getting dropped. The butterflies within my stomach became chaotic every time I was around him. My heart seemed to skip a beat every time he kissed me. He meant a lot to me and I love him very much.
He kept me close and held me for the last time, as tears rained down my face. The waterfalls coming from my eyes seemed like they never would quit. Each tear hit his shirt like bullets, and the way my body was shaking, to the point that felt like shivers that would never end. I felt weak and torn a part to the point of no restore. As I cried, he cried based on every single emotion we had seemed to crumble and burn within our hearts.
I felt like I was dying and my heart was torn a part and left in his lap. He walked me to my vehicle, as he asked me for the last piece of my heart I still had left. He asked me for one last kiss. But through that last kiss he took the last small piece of my heart I didn’t want to let go. I left weak and torn with so much pain inside me.
I gave up and shut things out for the next few months. I wanted to die or leave this area with so much memories attached to it. I hated myself and thought everything was wrong with me. I knew that I still loved him and I always will. He has my heart, and I don’t know when I will get it back. I wanted to still be friends with him, but the friendship wouldn’t work because my amount of love would interfere with it.
It has been a year now and he still has my heart. I still love him with every single piece of me. But I do believe that strength is the will power to try and move on.