I believe that in the darkest times of our lives there is always a shining light, a shining light no matter how faint, waiting for the moment in which we realize its existence and grab hold. I believe in chance, I believe in hope, I believe in that no matter what the odds are there is always good out in the world.
The year is 1998 the 16th of April, I have just woken up alone in an environment that shows no familiarity to anything I remember. I look at my watch it reads 10.45 pm however, out the window I can clearly see light outside. I step out on the terrace, I look around and take a deep breath -silence- I hear nothing, no birds, no animals, no cars. I look around and notice the dew that is fresh on the plants outside. I take in my surroundings, I am on the second story looking out above an empty playground, the perfect cut grass and nicely trimmed trees swaying to the wind. I have had enough, this new world sickened me, where were the kids? Where were the adults? Where was the tall grass? Where were the imperfect patches of land dotted with rocks and mud? I walk inside to find my little sister, three years old, sleeping peacefully. She was blissfully unaware of the change that had just happened. My parents are nowhere to be found. I quickly return to a wide area I have now labeled as the living room. I sit down and wait in silence, it seems like eternity has passed as I watch the clock on the wall tick away the minutes, I notice a book laying open, I take it to my lap and to my surprise the letters are all different the only thing I recognize that makes sense are the numbers and many pictures of houses, it made no sense. At that moment it hit me—I am no longer home, the plane, the good bye, the luggage, the hate, the anger, I remembered it all. The confusion is no longer there, it has been replaced by fear, and despair. I shuffle some papers around and notice a bright note it reads “ Nies me na rabota, gledai janet za nas, shte se vidim slet 20.00” My parents are at work they won’t be back until later tonight I am to take care of my sister until then. I open the box under the note, and a smile creeps onto my face, a picture book with animals and a set of hot wheels- oh happy birthday to me- I am now 9 years old.
Having had the change of being in one world and suddenly placed in another, I can only now fully appreciate the experiences that I have received at that young age. While I was learning my new language I was in constant regret for arriving to this new life and would constantly fear my surroundings. The one hope that stayed with me through the years is that- no matter what happens, time never stops, you only hope it gets better.