I Believe in Reincarnation and Karma

Adrian - Los Angeles, California
Entered on April 26, 2009
Age Group: 30 - 50
  • Listen to This I Believe on RadioPublic

  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.

Lois, my late mother, suffered the slow and successful progression of mental illness. From throwing stacks of heirloom china on the floor of her fiance’s parents basement during a visit at age 19 in 1941 to attempting to sell her first child into a brothel at 16. Having 5 children, and many miscarriages between 5 husbands, and countless men in between; she brought misery to many.

Her abuses ranged from violent and brutal child abuse, sexual molestation, to holding children at gunpoint and threatening them with murder in their sleep. She practiced denial of hygiene, (don’t floss, don’t brush), prevention of education “You already know all that! You don’t need school.” Isolation, paranoid delusion and racism. Constant bombs going off to disrupt a livable life for us all. I volunteered to enter foster care at 14 just to get away from her.

I wrote her a series of letters in 2006 explaining that she could either confront her reprehensible behavior here or on the astral, but either way she couldn’t escape the facts as Nazi generals attempted to do by hiding in Argentina.

She told my stepfather that I was schizophrenic and to see a doctor. This campaign she initiated before I entered foster care. Then the witch died; which restored my faith in the power of prayer.

My psychic explained that her spirit, which returned home from the hospital, was sitting in the chair in the house when she heard my two brothers and I reference her in the past tense; only then did she realize she had passed.

About a year later while consulting with my psychic who revealed that my great grandparents were an interracial couple; confirming an uncertainty that my mother had mentioned. “Your mother’s here” he interrupted “She’s been through her healing and says she was horrified by her actions on earth.” To which I replied tell her “Tell her I told her so!” He rolled his eyes indicating her response; saying she knew I was right. “That she knew of the early onset of mental illness but did nothing to prevent its progression; and so she’ll have to live the life again he added. “…but that she loves you very much and will always be on your side.”

This revelation reconfirmed that all our actions are always recorded and that we must be accountable.