Contradiction

Frank - Las Cruces, New Mexico
Entered on April 24, 2009
Age Group: Under 18
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Contradiction

After I skipped 1st grade, I was taken for individualized testing. I passed the test; I entered Advanced Education Services (A.E.S).

My family is made up of very smart people and I am not the oldest child. I have three older siblings. Two of them have gone to college and the other is in high school also receiving A.E.S. When I am at school I “show what I know.” I often raise my hand and say an answer. But when it gets to the point when every day I raise my hand, teachers and students get to know me. This could be bad or good; in my case it was bad. When middle school started I knew my habit and I tried to stop it. My habit is to me, a dilemma. My dilemma is me being torn between the two worlds that I am trying to hide: the standout student versus being an average 7th grader. I know there are many, many other students who share an equal to or greater feeling about this matter. I can’t get away from this problem.

Most students don’t know I am in A.E.S., but my family does know. When I do well in school, my parents do nothing because it is expected from our family. But when I do average in school, my parents become irritated and angry that I am not reaching “excellence.”

I am now in the 7th grade and my teachers and the other students have seen the same thing all others before. I get picked on because I succeed, but that is only from students. When some teachers see it, they tend to think because I am in A.E.S., I am supposed to know everything, but I don’t. I am normal. I do not think too highly of myself, or too low. Even though I think that, my teachers don’t, so they go ahead and out of the blue call on me for a question no average 7th grader would know. But all I really want is to look like an average 7th grader. I know in my eyes I am not an average student. I know I am excellent. But all I want is to blend in.

So far in life, I have found many conflicts, but I think the one that I deal with every day, is the one I should deal with immediately.

I believe in finding your immediate contradiction and dealing with it.