I Believe in Death

September 13, 2003 was one of the worst days of my life. On this treacherous day my best friend died. I believe death is hard, but without it the world would become over populated. So I believe we have to learn to get on with our lives, but still remember our loved ones who passed on to a better life.

Around August of 2002 my mom’s family was wondering if Grandma was sick. She started losing weight super fast and was just not hungry. Then we found out the truth after a C.A.T scan and an M.R.I that took place around May of the following year. Sarah had pancreatic cancer at the age of fifty-one.

Wow, wow, wow. My sister, Heather, and I just couldn’t believe it. My mom came home from the doctor and told she was about three months pregnant and that she is due on Nov. 23. We were overjoyed. We were confused when my aunt came over to baby-sit us while our mom went somewhere. Boy I was glad then when mom got home with the news. It was worth waiting for. Now this grandchild of Sarah’s was her only motivation to live.

Over a weekend in July my Grandma’s sisters and their husbands along with the grandchildren usually go camping. This particular time we went to Rainbow Springs. We had a good time, but everyone was on the edge because the doctors don’t know how long Grandma had to live. During the afternoon on this Saturday the older relatives decided to sing some of their favorite songs out of a hymnal. Everyone was there; all the aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, and I, standing around Sarah. Johnny, my uncle, played the guitar as we sang beautiful songs in harmony. Thankfully she survived the weekend; I believe just for her soon to be grandchild.

Then in August we had to get family pictures for the church directory and because we didn’t know how long Grandma was going to live we had to get them as soon as possible. So we scheduled a date and while we took immediate family pictures we also took one big one with all the kids and grand kids of Grandma and Grandpa. They turned out great.

Then September came around Grandma began to decline really fast. She became too weak to walk, so we got her a hospital bed in her home. Then she couldn’t breath and we had to get oxygen for her. Thankfully though, both my uncles are paramedics and firefighters. Eventually she could no longer hold herself up or do anything for herself. It was really sad when I went to give Grandma a hug and she couldn’t even hug me back because she could not hold her arms up to even grasp my neck. Everything required assistance. Everyone in the family was at Grandpa’s all the time. Grandma just kept hanging on; she really wanted to see her grandchild.

Then her time came on September 13, 2003. It started out like a normal day, my sister and I went to school knowing that Sarah was very sick. When we got off the bus my dad was there and he called us into the living room. Both Mom and Dad were sitting there and they sat Heather and I on their laps. They did not looked pleased to tell us the news, but they did. They said that Grandma had died around noon that day.

It was a very sad day for me because Grandma was my best friend I had ever had. Her passing was also very hard to deal with because my birthday was just two days later on September 15. Grandma’s funeral was on my birthday, but it’s hard to be happy and sad at the same time.

The viewing and funeral were at the church. The day of the viewing Grandma’s immediate family was lined up to shake hands with and hug the people who came to mourn with us.

Then the following day was the funeral. Everyone sat through a quick sermon. Then we went out to the burial site. I knew Grandma was a Christian and was going to heaven. This really helped me to get through her death.

The day of the funeral the entire extended family came over to Grandpa Shoup’s house and had a birthday party for me. Everyone tried to be happy, but we all knew it was just an act. My birthday was never the same after that.

I believe in death is hard. I know death is a natural thing, but we have to deal with it. People die every day and it is a necessary component of life. If no one ever died than the world would become over populated. I know it’s hard to deal with, but it just has to happen.