Through My Eyes

ana - la, California
Entered on April 21, 2009
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: tolerance
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Through My Eyes

I learn to grow within time close to people. I was known for the personality I had; or at least it’s what people point out. I had a rough childhood since I was small. I grew up around the negativity. But as I grew up there were joyful times and firme memories as my grandpa would say. Growing up around crazy reality, people often have a different point of view from mine. As people met me, I was judged. I was told that I was mean, a bully, and had no feelings. I’m a human. Why should I be judged? Why should anyone be judged? I learned and cherished disapointments, had shed tears, had comebacks. But with everyone judging and not knowing the real me, I was turned down. I use to like this boy.

We barely knew each other but we could say “hi” and “bye”. There was something that clicked with me and him that would just make me attracted to him. So I grew the courage to ask him to be my boyfriend. But what I thought would be a thumbs up but easily became a thumbs down. It was during lunch that I asked him out. He made a dumb excuse. But I told him that just to come clean with the truth. He said that I seemed mean because of how I acted, like I was a bully. He also said that I looked like I didn’t care, that I was able to hurt someone and not care .When he said that I felt the water in my eyes. It felt like a storm of rain was going to start flushing down my eyes. The girl that he thought that was mean, careless and a bully was actually as fragile as glass. I sucked up the tears and walked away.

A couple of days later the boy asked me out. I turned him down. I told him that when he said that if he couldn’t see the real me then he wouldn’t have the best of me. I felt bad because I really liked him and I turned him down. I told him that when he said that I felt that his words cut through me and wound me. But the like every wound it would heal. I told him that I’m not mean I could seem mean and aggressive, but I’m fragile like every girl. I told him that I do care and love to be a helping hand to my friends .I love to laugh, giggle, and have a good time. I told him maybe the way I am is because of how I grew up. I explained that my childhood has made me what I am. I opened a door to him and explained.

I told him that I grew up living a gang life. But how would he know if he judged before .He apologized and since then we have been best friends. At times you have to borrow someone else’s eyes their steps, their life or moments. Since then it stuck with me that many people could walk by you like a book. The first thing a human beings dose would do is judge without reading the book. I believe that no one should be judged in any way. I believe that everyone should be taken a get taken a second looked look instead of just one. Everyone has a story behind each of pair of eyes. There’s history behind every ones reality. Reality has a clumsy ways of judging others. But what matters is what one thinks. Then you can change someone else’s thought because one knows themselves better than the person judging you. I believe that when someone judges you, that person is being judged by a thousand eyes more judging them. In the end this is what I believe.