Essay: This I Believe
What a Long Life Already
I have been challenged and tested throughout my life. I was raised in a Baptist church. I firmly believe that if it was not for the Lord, our most high God, I would not be here today. Nor would I have the strength to maintain my sanity!
When I was a young child I was molested by my own cousin in my aunt’s basement. I never told a soul. I always wondered if that made me the strong, take no mess person that I am today, always having my guard up.
Throughout my teenage years I hung out with the in crowd, whom also was the bad crowd. I had the same friends even into my young adult years. By the age of nineteen I had a child with my high school sweetheart and was a single mother by the age of twenty. I had been the victim of a shooting by the age of 21. A bullet went into my side, grazing my kidney, cracking my ribs and lodging itself in my back. How on earth did I survive that? Clearly it was God. I believe he had much greater plans for my life.
Shamefully I still had not learned my lesson. I still had yet my years of hanging out, going in and out of college but at the same time I was always working and being God fearing. I believe that it is called straddling the fence. Knowing full well that the Bible speaks clearly that one can only serve one master.
It wasn’t until I had moved to another city, left a job that I had been at for five and a half years, became a statistic of yet another failed marriage and found myself starting a new job with now three children, alone, that I had no choice but to believe that God would have to see me through. Not a man because man will fail. God never fails. It is his promise.
I am now a full time student, and have been for two years and I also hold a full time job as well as balancing the daily chores as mom! I had to learn that although life has not always been pretty that I have always had life. It was never promised that my life would not be full of trials or burdens. It was not promised that I would be rich here on earth or that I would never have to suffer. But instead my suffering had only been for a short time. I have never been hungry. I have always had shelter. I have always had a vehicle. My life has been what it has been for a reason. I believe that my trials are to be talked about and shared so that someone else in the same situation can believe that God can also change life for them as well.
I use to live my life for me. I never cared what my actions or my words did to other people. I never said I was sorry when I knew I had hurt some ones feelings. I was selfish in my ways. All that God had done for me and all God had seen me through I was only concerned with me.
I am now concerned for three beautiful boys, a beautiful Goddaughter, a niece and two nephews and my parents whom I can never replace. My life is not about me. I am here to teach and to serve others. I am here to be an example and a story. I am here that my life may save someone else’s life. To be a believer and a servant of God.