This I Believe

Sameena - Norcross, GA 30092, Georgia
Entered on April 16, 2009
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: fear, freedom
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Freedom of Expression

This is the story of a woman who has touched my heart in more ways that I can express.

Today, Farah Deeba stood in amazing wonder. After twenty years, she had made peace with her inner self. Finally, she felt God’s complete acceptance of her being; she felt her flaws melting away.

“Never more, Never more…” the song, and the rhythm filled the air. Today, Farah felt free to fly away, far away from bondage; from the chains that restricted her; from the words that hurt her very soul…

How many times has she heard that she is “inadequate?”How many times had she gone to bed crying with excruciating pain in her heart? How many times had she not experienced the joy of being alive? The quest to be the perfect “wife”, had banished her desire for self-expression.

How many times was she reminded that her life’s only purpose is to serve as a wife, as a mother, and kill the real “Farah?” How many times had Farah longed for freedom of self-expression? How many times had she mistakenly thought God had turned her down?

Today her son would graduate from school. Farah felt proud of her son. Farah knew she had done her best. Farah knew she had not been the best mother. Farah had been told a million times that best mothers sacrifice everything. Farah knew she was selfish because she had looked for her very own purpose in life in addition to the shared family purpose.

Today, Farah saw her son; standing tall, smiling at her, with love shining in his eyes and felt overwhelmed with joy.

Today, Farah did not feel “inadequate.”

Today, Farah felt proud of what she had done, what she had given her son.

Today, Farah knew she will always be “there” for her son; if and when he needed her. “I will be there when you fall; I will there to celebrate your successes; I will always be there, with no judgment in my heart but just to give, just to be a pillar of strength, just to be a mother.”

“…you are inadequate.” will never echo in Farah’s ears again. Today, she felt an extraordinary inner peace. She did not need a man’s acceptance, especially of one who nearly killed her inner most being. Just God’s acceptance was all she needed.

Today, Farah saw pride in her son’s eyes, and love gushing forth for his mother and felt God’s Grace touch her.

Today, Farah felt the peace that God meant for everyone to have.

Today, Farah would begin a new journey where her freedom of expression will gush forth.

Today, Farah will say – “Never more, Never more…” to a life of shadow and doubt.

Today, Farah will snap the bondage of verbal abuse and begin a new journey: A journey where her heart, her mind, and her spirit will spread the message of the “freedom of self-expression.”

Verbal abuse kills the mind, body, heart and spirit. “Never more…”