This I Believe

Jean - Pitman, New Jersey
Entered on April 5, 2009
Age Group: 50 - 65
Themes: birth, death, family

I believe that life can be difficult as I wait for my Mom to die. I love my 83 year old Mom, but do not wish her to continue to struggle with a body that has been half paralyzed for the past two and half years. As she has weakened, I have had to grow stronger, not because I wanted to, but because there was no choice. This past year I have felt the joy of feeding, for the first time, my new granddaughter. And, for the first time ever, I have felt the despair of spoon feeding my Mom. It is the exact same action, but the emotional swing of each event catches me by total surprise. I smile as they eat, encouraging them to continue and offering soothing, silly words. At the end, each smiles contentedly as I wipe the spills away from their soft chins and kiss the top of their heads. Despite my tears, I know I am privileged to view both a beginning and an end, but life can sure be difficult.