Time Well Spent

Cody - La Crescent, Minnesota
Entered on April 3, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family, setbacks
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So I am sitting here 18 years old, my life still with many bumps and curves left in it. Sitting alone is the time I value the most. Yes, I think of someone I like coming up and surprising me every minute of the day. My core belief on this life I lead came this past summer waking up at five am every morning for Basic Combat Training. Not out partying till the wee hours of the morning, stumbling through the door only to pass out on my bed fully clothed. A life I left behind. Or so I would have thought. When I got back home I fall apart and changed in a way I never imagined I would go back to. The bad decisions and trouble would eventually come back and haunt me. It is okay because life does go on. The world around you will not stop moving if you decide to give up. You get to think a lot when you alone and I feel that is when it counts the most. Someone can only do what they want, not what others tell them to. If you have enough self-discipline anything is possible. No peers around, the family in bed, and the animals just roaming the house there is so much one can think of when being alone. Some think of bad things, others of good. I think of both good and bad. For the last few years I have based my life on hope and helping those around me. It is much better to give than to receive. My parents have told me “Cody, you have so much going for you, slow your roll.” Well, my roll has finally slowed. The late nights of partying, being yammed out, and not remembering hours of my day are over. I sit alone nights when it is peaceful thinking of how I should turn my life around, what I need to get off this crash course my peers are on. I never knew when this night would come that I would actually think my life through and say “NO” to the bad things around me and this small town. I used to live a fast paced life full of adrenaline. Now I want to work with my family and show them the Cody they accept as their son. If it was not for the nights I stay up late, thoughts racing through my head, I would not think the way I do. Seeing my mom cry because of how I looked when I went into work or having my father tell me my eyes are so red I can barely see, are enough to get to me. But it is not until it is peaceful when I think of what I have done or who I hurt around me. There are many things I believe, but what I believe most is one or two days is not worth making your family worry so much when one is not in the right state of mind to even care. Remember, your family will remember that day even if you do not. So in the end I feel your life with your peers should not tear your family apart to an extent so great. Hope is a long stretch from home, but it never dies.