This I Believe

Samantha - rocky point, North Carolina
Entered on March 25, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: nature
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I believe in sunshine. It may be a silly thing to believe in but sunshine has been nothing but dependable for me. He greets me each and every morning, brightens most of my days, and ultimately will never leave me. There is nothing like walking outside and being captivated by the warmth rays of the sun, lifting up my spirits both inside and out. Sometimes he frustrates me by blinding my sight when I’m trying to drive or take a picture but I know he’s not out to get me. I believe that a person is more likely to be sad on a rainy day than they are on a sunny one because the sun makes for an automatically brighter day. And no matter if the sun disappears for a little while, no matter how mad I am at him, I always know he will come and shine back into my life.

Everyone experiences rainstorms in their life, some are hurricanes and some are light showers but a storm is a storm none the less. I believe that we all have periods of rainstorms in our lives so that we learn to appreciate those special rays of sunshine. Every one acts different when the rain comes, some get grumpy and they bundle up and do everything they can to stay dry while others put on rain boots and splash in the puddles. I don’t think you know a person until you know what kind of rainstorm they’ve been through.

There was a time in my life when I thought the rain would never go away. It poured and poured and boy did it thunder, I never liked the thunder much. I lost everything with those massive gray clouds. I lost my laughter, my smiles, my voice; I lost my innocence. When I was 15 I spent eleven months laying in bed at night scared to death. Night was when the sun went away, night was when the thunder cracked the loudest, night was when he would come and tower over me. There was nothing I could do but lay there and pretend to sleep, pretend to not notice when the unwanted hands would touch me, and in the morning I had to pretend like everything was normal. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t laugh. I didn’t even cry. I didn’t stand up for myself, because I’ve always been scared of the thunderstorms. I wanted nothing more than to laugh and jump and splash in the puddles but I couldn’t without facing the thunder. So eventually I had to get the courage and yell back at the thunder and boy did I scream. Then on cue the sunshine started to slowly make its way back into my gray days.

Sunshine doesn’t seem like such a silly thing to believe in, when you’ve got nothing else to put your trust into. When you are molested by someone that you called your father that you thought cared for you and would never hurt you, you learn to trust in other things. I believe that sunshine is the only thing that won’t let me down; so far no one has proved me otherwise.