Be fruitful and multiply that is what I wanted to do

Tymika - Loxley/36551, Alabama
Entered on March 21, 2009
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: birth, setbacks
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Be Fruitful and Multiply That Is What I Wanted To Do

I believe that life is not fair. Back in December 2008 I learned that I had to have a hysterectomy, due to numerous female problems that I had been suffering through the years. When the doctor gave me the news I didn’t want to hear it I was in denial. I wanted at least four more kids. My dream was to have big family like the Brady Bunch. I love kids and it just gives me joy to know that I am a great parent to my two kids. I am also a good provider for their wants and needs.

However hearing the news from the doctor tore me apart all I could do was cry. My dream of having that big family was shattered. I thought about not having the procedure, but that would have been selfish on my behalf because I was jeopardizing my life and the life I have with my two kids. I know that it would devastate them if they lost me and the feeling is mutual.

Well I know everyone have that special person in their life that you go to for answers well that person is my seventy-three year old grandma. When I walked into her house I had big alligator tears in my eyes and she said “Baby what’s wrong” with her big arms opened wide. I told her what was going on and she told me and she said “Baby God has blessed you with two healthy kid a boy and a girl and you be thankful, but you need to do what the doctor say and I Love You” she hugged me so tight and I felt better about the situation. From that point I knew what I had to do. So I called the doctor and scheduled my surgery.

Afterwards as the healing process was going on I felt so empty. It was like something had been taken from my heart. It wasn’t fair to me that my right that God gave me to be fruitful and multiply had been taken away from me. I was angry especially when I seen pregnant women because I longed for that. I was especially angry when I seen young women with a lot of kids and they are not taking care of them. I felt like these women should have had their right to be fruitful and multiply taken away from them. I believe that I should not have to make the choice of sterility and the right to be fruitful.