Cauley - Bennington, Vermont
Entered on March 20, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30
  • Listen to This I Believe on RadioPublic

  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.

I believe in Lucy. I LOVE LUCY. I know it seems silly to believe in a television show, especially one from such a misogynistic time in America’s television history, but there is nothing quite like watching Lucy on VHS. It is not about learning life lessons or laughing at Lucille Ball. Believing in I LOVE LUCY is about letting yourself cheer up, giving yourself a twenty minute break and doing nothing but watching an episode. No thinking, no eating, no drinking- you can’t even laugh… I’m just kidding; it’s hard not to laugh. Lucy is about giving yourself a chance to feel better, and I believe in that.

There was a time before I had Lucy. I would watch episodes on TV every now and then, but it honestly meant nothing to me. Then one Christmas my grandmother bought me some Lucy VHS tapes- there was still nothing special about it though. No Lucy magic. They sat on my shelf for a couple of years collecting dust until I carted them off to college with me, along with my tiny 12 inch television with built in VHS player, but I still didn’t take the time to really enjoy them.

There is a particular lonely kind of sadness that hits you in such a different way than simply being sad. It’s this terrible feeling in your gut and in your head, a completely non physical pain. A lot of different things happened in my life all at once. My mother and stepfather, together for over ten years of my childhood split up, my little brother ran away from home and simply disappeared, one of my older brothers had no money and no job and was completely on his own, and even another brother was in a scary and terrible place with drugs. There is something so unsettling when your family just doesn’t seem to be working, and I was sad. I was so lonely. And then I put on Lucy.

There is something so genuinely good about I LOVE LUCY. Watching Lucy try to figure out how to tell Ricky that they’re expecting a baby, or Lucy trying so hard to learn Ballet so she can become a star on Ricky’s show- It’s all so sweet. For just a short while you get a break. No more worrying that I would never see my brother again- just Lucy stomping grapes. No more thinking about my mother meeting someone new- just Lucy spilling food all over celebrities in Hollywood. Everyone needs a break every once in awhile and I LOVE LUCY makes things better.

Maybe Lucy is just my comfort food. Everyone has one and there is not really anything spectacular about an old smash hit TV show from the 40’s and 50’s. This I do not believe. While I’ve been writing I have had Lucy playing in the background the entire time. There is something so endearing, so calming about I LOVE LUCY. I love it. And I believe in it. I wish other people had the chance to experience Lucy the way I do. I really believe that life could be that much better for everyone. That feeling- that feeling when you can’t help but smile. That is how I feel when I watch I LOVE LUCY. I want everyone to have that. I want everyone to have a little bit of Lucy. This I so so believe.