You never know what you have until you lose it

katherine - corona, New York
Entered on March 12, 2009
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: death, gratitude
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Have you ever been in a situation where you don’t know what you have until you have lost it? Well I have.

It was a Thursday night and my mother was on the phone talking to my grandfather. She would always call him every night, and I would usually talk to him three times a week. My mom wanted me to talk to him, but I didn’t feel like talking that night. She got mad at me and talked to me afterwards.

“Katherine, why didn’t you talk to your grandfather? You know he is sick, and you should try to talk to him as much possible. He has done so much for you and he loves you so much. The least you can do is talk to him and remind him that you love him too. One day he is not going to be here anymore and you’re going to regret not talking to him. “

I thought about it for a little bit, and I figured I would have a lot of time to talk to him in the future. The next day when my mom called my grandfather, I was in my room waiting for her to call me and talk to him. Then all of a sudden I heard her bursting into tears. At first I just thought he was just very sick. I hugged her and listened to the conversation.

“No I can’t believe he left, why did he have to go now,” she said. Then I realized what had really happened, and I didn’t know what to think. I left the room and cried. I felt a very uncomfortable feeling.

I started to remember the last time I was with him. I was about five years old. He took me out to the corner to buy me some chips; he was always looking out for me. He would never let my dad scream at me or anybody correct me. I guess, in a way, he spoiled me. He had done so much for me, and I just ignored him and didn’t bother talking to him.

Since my grandfather’s death, I talk to my grandmother every night. She always puts a smile on my face no matter what. I tell her everything, like how my day was and if it was a bad day; she just laughs and tells me that if I’m still alive and healthy, then there is no such thing as a bad day. I want her to know how much she means to me, before it’s too late, and I won’t be able to tell her. That way when she does leave, I know I gave it all and I won’t regret a thing.

Every time I talk to her, it always reminds me of my grandfather. And I always remind myself that you never know what or who you have untill you lose it.