This I Believe
I have recently experienced a stunning and completely embarrassing and self-degrading revelation. It all started when I was on a smoke break at work with the infamous Chris N and our new cook Joe. We were talking about life and I was complaining about something or another, as usual, when Joe, may God bless his soul, spelled it all out for me. “Let me guess” he proclaimed in his authentic New York dialect: “I bet you’re the kind of kid who drifts home, mom has your dinner in the oven, you eat it, and then you drift up to your bedroom and get high.” He hit it right on the money. He then told me about how when he was ten years old he had to feed his seven brothers and sisters because his father was dead and his mom was desperately trying to support the family by working multiple jobs. I looked at him with a puzzled look and realized that I am a little bitch. I have one of the most blest and carefree lives of anyone I know, and all I do is complain about homework, dread waking up, and smoke marijuana almost every day.
When I really began thinking about how much of a little bitch I am, I began to feel a swell of apathy and disgust towards myself. Both of my parents are still together and happen to be on very good terms. More than half the kids I know regale me with war stories of either divorce or open verbal warfare between their parents when they go home. Both of my parents’ jobs are recession proof since they both work in healthcare, so basically the chances of us running out of money are pretty slim. I was blessed with a pretty intelligent mind capable of achieving good grades which could’ve gotten me scholarships and free rides to wherever, but instead I chose to skip school, get high, and be a little bitch.
What truly amazes me is not how much of a little bitch I am, but rather how my peers who have been born into far worse circumstances than I are not only rising above them but even looking at the bright side. Last year, our beloved Chris M. used to tell me about the possibility of him being homeless, but of course I was too busy bitching about having to be at school to listen. Now, Chris is probably going to go to the University of Louisville because he spent his free time playing the guitar instead of bitching. Both of Chris N’s parents are dead and instead of falling into depression and giving up, he works his ass off to make money to support himself and eventually go to college. Then I can’t forget the girl in our class who really made me feel more like a little bitch than anyone else. I apologize for not being able to remember her name, I blame this on marijuana and my little bitchiness. She had to take care of her younger sister while her parents were addicted to crack, and not only did she help her mom break away from her addiction and her abusive relationship, but all she can focus on is how deep of a relationship she has now with both her mom and her sister.
As a result of all of this, I believe it is time for me to quit being a little bitch. I have decided that the only way I can redeem my self is by taking all the blessings I have and utilizing them to give something, anything, everything away to those who are less fortunate and who live much harder lives than I. It’s time to quit bitching, and it’s time for me to start giving and being thankful and glad for everything that I have been given. Seth Sizemore is from this moment on, no longer a little bitch.