Carpe Diem

While I sat there playing with my dolls, my grandma slowly walked in, her face sullen. I was only ten-years-old but I knew an ominous sign when I saw one. I’d had enough family tragedies to realize that. Because of that, I believe that every single moment should be lived as if it were your last moment. I believe you should enjoy every moment with the people you love and use every moment to fulfill your dreams.

I realized this when my grandma walked in and told me about the death of my older cousin. I was quiet as I sat there, continuing to play with my dolls while my grandma silently wept in the doorway. I did not know whom she was talking about. I stopped twining my doll’s mahogany hair and watched my grandma for a minute. I contemplated. If you doubt that a ten-year-old could contemplate, then you are underestimating ten-year-olds. The look on my grandma’s face was so full of pain that I wondered if anyone else could bear that much pain.

Then, my grandma started murmuring. I reluctantly trudged over, expecting another waterfall of tears. Leaning towards her, I heard her whisper, “I never got to know him…why him…no, no, no…I miss him…”

Hearing those words shocked me. My grandma, the strong woman, broken down until she turned desperate and weak and started sobbing about how she wished she had more time with one of her grandchildren? Had my cousin been the reason of her tears? Unbelievable! In my young, immature mind, I wondered why God had not let my grandma at least say “Goodbye” to him. I just patted my grandma’s back, pecked her cheek, and left the room.

Now, four years later, I have realized that if my grandma did have more time with my cousin then she wouldn’t have cried that much. She would not have so much regret if she had spent more time with my cousin. And I always think when I remember the sight of my grandma crying that it was really simple for her to have spent time with him. If only she had the chance.

So I have resolved to spend my life with every moment filled with purpose. The question should not be why we should live up to yourself every moment, but the question should be, why shouldn’t we? I will spend every moment as if it would be my last moment because I believe humans were created for a purpose and since our lifespan is so short, we have to work fast to achieve our goals. This is what I believe in.