Believe in Something

Mary Jane - California
Entered on February 21, 2009
Age Group: 50 - 65
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Believe in Something

The day that changed the lives of my family, started with my four year old granddaughter, Brittany, sneaking in the front door with two little pink roses hiding behind her back. When a sweet little hand like hers reaches towards you holding something so dear, the warmth and tenderness you feel has no words. Little did we know what affect a pink rose would have on the rest of our lives.

Tomorrow was supposed to be the first day at her new school, but things changed over night. By morning, she was burning up with fever. From the doctors office, she was taken directly to Children’s Hospital. After hours of tests, she was diagnosed with leukemia.

Caught off guard and in total disbelief, we stared into space wondering what to reach out and grab on to. Emotions we’ve never had to deal with before were swallowing us whole. The world, as we knew it, was now all mixed up.

We did our best to stay tough and not surrender to this unfamiliar feeling we couldn’t understand. Fear was grabbing us by the throat and choking us. It was so hard to even think. All I could think was, how can I make this be OK when it isn’t OK? That’s what grandmas do you know, they make everything OK.

As I sat there thinking, I remembered what my father told me when I was leaving for college.

“Your beliefs will carry you through. It doesn’t matter what you believed in,

just believe in something. If it points you in the right direction

and gives you peace of mind, then it’s right for you.

Down deep inside, where I can’t even reach, these words were kept safe for me. Thank you, Daddy.

I was now forced to explore what it was I truly did believed. I use the word “forced” because I knew if I couldn’t reach higher for something non-wavering, I would never get past the heartache. I believe things do happen for a reason. It’s hard to figure out sometimes, but if you try, you can make the pieces fit. I also believe when we experience something that could be called a “coincidence” it’s an opportunity to find an answer to a prayer.

Through the illness and passing of my granddaughter, we learned to give meaning to everything we experienced. Through this, we learned about letting go of fear and opening up to new ways of thinking. What pulled us through was giving her life a meaning and a purpose.

Is there such thing as a coincidence? Does everything really happen for a reason? I say, pay attention to what goes on around you because one day, out of the blue, you will hear something, read something, or see something that will stop you in your tracks. I call it “messages from heaven.” Let these messages work for you. Let them lift you up.

To be lifted up, you have to be lighter to lift.