This I believe: I believe there is life after death. I believe that when you die, you awaken from a deep sleep that was called “life”. I never grew up with much religion in my life. My parents never constrained me to one; they gave me freedom to select a religion I felt was adequate. Until this day I haven’t chosen one. I like to take chunks from different religions in order to create my own understanding.
I believe in serenity, the serenity encountered when you fall into deep thought about the person who just passed. The serenity I felt when I realized my grandfather was finally in god’s hands.
My grandfather’s death hit me the worst, he was not only my grandfather, but my father and friend. I could tell him anything; he always encouraged me to do what I needed to do in order to succeed. I saw my grandfather on September 7th, 2007 at 6pm, at 7pm he got terminally ill, and at 2am, September 8th, 2007 he was gone. I never had a chance to say goodbye, I never had a chance to ask him anything. I relied on him too much; I asked his opinion about everything, down to what car I should buy. His opinion meant so much to me, which is why it was so hard to lose him.
I believe he is still alive in us, through memories, pictures, and video. Wait, but regardless it still isn’t the same. I am not the same. I’ve been a totally different person ever since his death. I was so attached that now I feel he abandoned me. Even after a year and a half I don’t feel motivated. He was my motivation! I don’t feel that drive I once felt.
I believe: I am not the same. I feel like a lost dog running around trying to find a place to fit in.
I understand the cycle of life.
But don’t believe it should’ve been him yet.
I believe in life after death.