I believe in falling.
I believe that no matter how perfect I try to be, I will always fall. It is okay for me to fall because falling is a natural part of human existence. Falling, literally, is when I miss a step or lose my footing, and I proceed to make contact with the ground in an unpleasant manner. The pain of falling physically is never permanent and when I fall, it adds a humorous break to a challenging practice or tense moment. Recently, in the past few weeks, I was at an especially hard conditioning. Nobody felt like talking because we were all trying to catch our breaths. I wasn’t aware of my surroundings and my legs were weak from many agility drills. I stumbled right into a trashcan, fell and just sat there. The team laughed and everybody had a renewed energy because through my fall, everybody got their minds off the next drill, and for a second focused on my silly tumble. I am known as the clumsy member on my team, and I accept that role. Don’t get me wrong, I never fall on purpose, I just seem to have heavy feet at times. When I fall, my teammates can see that is okay to make mistakes, and that nobody does everything right but we must help each other recover. We all learn to pick each other up whether it is from a botched play or a strikeout. It is through a mini mistake that a huge lesson can be learned.
I believe falling can be a serious and draining experience as well. Typical tripping and falling is normal, but falling in an emotional and mental way is painful beyond words. I have not fallen emotional or mentally to the point of depression, and I am truly thankful for that, because depression is never a fun experience no matter who you are. I have fallen from the pushing of others and the negative comments I have told myself. Recently, in the past year, I was placed in a difficult situation. It felt as though every bad thing that could happen to me did. My grandmother died, my parents totaled a vehicle, I got in a fight with my best friend and in the midst of these crises, I got bumped up to varsity softball. The somberness of all the other occasions overshadowed my success. I began to doubt if I was good enough to play at that level. I talked to my coaches who supported me, but every mistake I made convinced me more and more I didn’t deserve to be where I was. Finally one day, it seemed like a blanket was lifted off my back. If everyone else believed in me, then why shouldn’t I believe in myself? I practiced harder to prove the few that doubted me, they were wrong. Most importantly, I proved to myself that I am capable of anything if my heart is in it. I also learned to pick myself up through the power of positive thinking, and the ability to have faith in myself. Falling always has a funny way of teaching you crucial life lessons.
I believe that everybody can rise again. Whether I tripped or fell into a hole of doubt I was able to recover. This taught me that no matter what the situation is, I can recover. When I fell at practice a teammate reached out to help me get up. When I doubted myself, my coaches encouraged me to be my best. Recovery can be a short or long process depending on the severity of the fall. Patience, a helping hand, and most importantly the faith in yourself, will help you recover.
I believe in falling, but I also believe in getting back up.