Finding Something in Nothing

J - Napoleon, Ohio
Entered on February 16, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30
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I believe that I don’t have one supreme, life-guiding belief. I believe that I haven’t lived long enough to find it or for it to find me.

When I was assigned to write an essay about one belief that governed my daily life, I was perplexed. The idea that I should have an opinion so substantial, that I base my life on it, seemed daunting. How do I sum up my existence in a thesis? This seemed to be the question at hand, so I thought about it. And I thought about it. And I thought about it. Eventually, I found myself with nothing but clichés. You know, the usual garbage, such as the always dull, “Hard work pays off” and the pretentious, “Live everyday like it is your last.” I decided that no matter what I thought of, it had to be honest. So again, I thought about it, and again I came up with nothing. Then it hit me. Nothing. I realized the possibility that I might not have a significant life-ruling belief, at least for right now anyways, and it’s okay.

I realized that even though it feels like I’ve been around for a while, the past 18 years are only a fraction of what could be the rest of my life. The average person lives to be around the age of 77, 18 years is less than a quarter of that. Hypothetically speaking, I still have three quarters of my life left. Which is quite a bit of time to “find myself.” Also, it wasn’t really until 14 years of age that I started considering how the way I live my life can have a direct effect on other people’s lives. Whether I knew of them then or would meet them in the future, my life decisions are bringing consequences, both good and bad, for the people in my life. So far, from ages 14 to 18 I have been self-aware. I don’t believe four years is long enough to discover the doctrine of my being. In the span of time that I have been on this earth, I have never fell in love, I have never lost someone close to me, and I have never felt a life changing experience. There is not a whole lot to work with there.

Whether it will be tomorrow, 50 years from now or never, I will be looking forward to learning my life’s lesson.