I Believe in Something

Darren - Lake, Michigan
Entered on February 9, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30
  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.

I believe in a higher power. Ever since I was little I never really got the concept of “God”. As I was studying the Crusades in school, it was hard for me to understand how the Crusaders of the Middle Ages could use religion as an excuse to kill. When I was younger I knew of the main religions and all of them seemed strange to me. Whenever I talked about it people would say that I was an atheist because of the way I described how I felt. I would say that I did not believe in “God” and that I didn’t know what I believed in. I thought that atheist meant that I did not believe in “God” the way they did. When I figured out what being an atheist actually meant I was very confused because I knew that I believed in something, but I just didn’t know what. This is when I started talking to my mom.

My mom, who is a pagan, would sit and talk to me about the things she believed in and I would listen and question her about it. I decided that I just could not decide then what I wanted to believe and that it would just take time to decide. Within the last couple of years I have begun thinking about it more. I looked into other religions more to see what they were all about and still came back with no real answers of what I believed in.

I have realized over the last year or so now that religion is more about the ideas of how people should act rather than where you go when you die. In that concept I agree with many religions because most preach or talk about just being decent to the other people that are sharing the planet with me. They are like guidelines to how you should act.

Now I’m in my eighteenth year of life and I have come to the point where I know I believe in some kind of higher power. I still don’t know exactly what I believe in, but I still have a lot of my life left to figure it out.