I Believe in Ballerinas

Amanda - Berkley, Massachusetts
Entered on February 8, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30

As a child, waving my arms in the air and screaming on the top of my lungs in excitement to see my grandmother would not leave me with a musty, cracked wall paper, White Diamonds scent enraging in my nostrils. Nana smelled different; it was always so warm when she kissed me on the cheek.

Nana babysat my brother and I from a very small age everyday as my parents worked the nine to five. I remember all the screaming and crying, and all the days I could not go into her room because she was “sick.” Nana was always sick it seemed, and she would always leave a lot too and go on “vacations” where we would visit her and she would hold us tightly as she cried. It just so happened that my Nana was “sick” again, and could not make it to my very last dance recital or my high school graduation. Will she be sick at my college graduation too? My mother told me how when she was a little girl she would hide in the closet a lot, she was a little ballerina, just like me; I’m so glad she’s just like me, nothing like her mother at all.

My Aunt and Uncle are having some problems too. My Uncle Gerry likes to wait until his cheeks are as red as a fire truck until he decides to take the Infinity out for a ride of 140mph on highway twenty-four. My Auntie Laura is always taking those random “vacations” too. Important looking men like to make stops at the house all the time to talk to their two beautiful little girls, Shayla and Brenna. They both are little ballerinas, just like me, I hope they grow up to be just like me too, nothing like their parents at all.

At the age of eighteen my parked car was struck and totaled by a drunk driver. My neon in a pole and his Jeep rolled over with him trying to crawl out of it. I then founded and was the president of an organization within my high school called SSIRD (Students Stopping Impaired Reckless Driving). My freshman year of college I became a Peer Leader of STAR (Students Teaching Alcohol Responsibility). As a Peer Leader, I display a positive attitude about substance abuse and can help other students with drug and alcohol problems. My goal is to save students who are turning their social drinking into everyday occasions and to eliminate driving under the influence as much as possible.

So when a cute boy comes my way at a party, holds a cup out to me, and asks me how I’m doing in a slurred and stuttered voice, I’m hit with that smell and a warm kiss. I’m hit with my Nana, Uncle Gerry, and Auntie Laura.

I believe in abstinence.

I believe in will power.

I believe in ballerinas.

I believe in myself.