In the Clouds

In the Clouds

I believe it is easier to see God in the clouds than in my religion class at school. Even though I am not catholic (and I’ve told them this my whole high school career) they still make me take religion. This would not be as painful if they were teaching something interesting. Instead, they push their beliefs on us all day. The catholic belief.

When I was a child, I would be able to look at a cloud, with the bright orange and yellow sun behind it, and say, “That’s God, right there.” I was so ready to believe in God when I was little. As I grew up, I began to realize that there were two Gods: The one I believed in- all forgiving, compassionate, loving and a little bit out of reach; and the Catholic God- a man to be feared, a father figure that watches over you, but does nothing as he watches you suffer, and a man that plays favorites.

Once I was at a required mass for school and I followed the crowd up to take communion. I was swept up in the colorful stained glass windows and the passionate voices of the choir. But a teacher came up from the side and explained that only Catholics could take communion. I was ashamed and upset. Why couldn’t I be like every one else?

In my sophomore religion class, my teacher began to teach us the Catholic Church’s beliefs on certain issues such as abortion and homosexuality. I found myself not wanting to be like everyone else, and I discovered my voice. I had beliefs and I found that I liked making them heard.

In my junior religion class, we talk about Morality in politics and in certain situations. The teacher is a devout Catholic, so of course she teaches the Catholic way of looking at the situation. Even though she is one of my favorite teachers in that school, during class, all bets are off. We debate ruthlessly, and even though I detest religion class and still protest that it should not be a requirement, I owe who I am today to that class. Before last year, I was a shy little girl who didn’t want to push her beliefs on anyone- if she had any- but I found my voice in disagreeing with prescribed religions.

Once someone told me that God was not in the beautiful colors of the sunlight behind the dusty clouds but it was an emission of light eons away. I quietly told them they were mistaken. They could not analyze away the simple belief in my God.