Not Always A ‘Silver Lining’

Caeli - Gibsonia, Pennsylvania
Entered on January 11, 2009
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family, question
  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.

I believe that a ‘silver lining’ cannot always be found. When my twin sister and I were 4 years old, our grandfather died, a month later our parents separated, eventually getting divorced, almost exactly 8 years after that, our grandmother, whom the two of us were extremely close to, died of cancer.

There is no ‘silver lining’ to be found within these events.

My grandfather died when my sister and I were too young to understand exactly what was going on. We only knew that we never saw grandpa again. Maybe if we were older like our mother, for it was her father who died, then his death might have made us stronger. But we were four years old, we could not understand what happened to our grandfather, so his death left us confused.

A month before my sister and I turned 5, our father left the family and our parents eventually got a divorce. Still to young to really comprehend why our father left and what was going on, to both of us, it is safe to assume that in the eyes of the two of us at 4 years old, to us it looked like mommy and daddy did not really like each other and fought with each other a lot, and we didn’t get to see daddy as much. There is nothing good in creating confusion and sadness within two little girls.

Mine and my sister’s grandmother on our mother’s side, died of Ovarian Cancer. We were 12 when she passed away. But there was no ‘silver lining’ for me, within my grandmother’s death, even if I did understand it. Some might say it made me stronger. I vehmently disagree. I was extremely close to my grandmother, and her absence in my life created a ‘void’ inside me, that cannot be filled, even if that sounds cliche.

Out of these instances within my life, none came with a ‘silver lining’ from where I tood during each of them. Therefore, I believe that a ‘silver lining’ cannot always be found.