This I Believe

Amy - Wellfleet, Massachusetts
Entered on December 29, 2008
Age Group: 50 - 65
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I believe in my relationship with my Lord.

I spent my younger days going to church on Sunday mornings. I remember saying grace before dinner. I remember being in the high school youth group at the church. But it wasn’t until after I was married and had children that I had a change in my walk with the Lord.

After the birth of my second son, I had a severe postpartum depression. The days were hard and very dark. I spent time just trying to sleep on my mother’s bed while she and my Gram took care of my boys. I cried more tears than I would have ever thought possible. My good days would come and go and it seemed that I could only remember the bad ones. I wanted to get better, but struggled to find joy.

A pastor counseled me during this time. He asked me if I had given my heart to Jesus. I told him I went to church all my life. He wanted to know if I had given my life to the Lord. Did I trust in Him for every area of my life? That was a marked turning point in my life. That was when I decided to pray and give all my cares to Him. I started my days finding everything I could to praise and thank Him for. Soon the cloud lifted and my dark days of depression were turned once again to joy.

The Lord carried me through the most difficult situation I ever faced in my adult life. He showed me His strength when my husband and father of my four oldest children took his own life. The magnitude of my loss was larger than I could ever have imagined. My heart felt like it had been ripped from my chest. The pain was so excruciating I felt like I had died too. Four children depended on me so I had to persevere. The Lord held me tight as I cried myself to sleep at night. He showed me that if I would trust Him I would be doubly blessed. And I was.

My son got into trouble with the law and ran away for two years. Not knowing exactly where he was or how he was, I had to once again lean on the Lord. The same Lord rode with me as I drove 411 miles one way into Canada to find my son so that he could face his wrong doings. He was my constant companion. He kept my son out of jail in CA and placed him in my home under house arrest.

When I am weak, He is my strength. He is my friend in the hard times and in the good times. He cries with me and He laughs with me. He comforts me and He carries my burdens. I believe in my relationship with Him because He has proven Himself time and time again.