to be alone

hope - killeen, Texas
Entered on December 18, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family, love

today is day four of my journey alone in texas without you i wake up and think to myself how did i get here married with a child and alone waiting for a knock on my door or a call from a man telling me my husband is hurt or worse how did i become this scared depressed person how did my happy life with love become this hell i sleep in. not alive or even here just floating waiting for the ball to drop on me so i can wake up and handle the mess i have got myself into why did i marry you , a soldier , a 20yr old boy running face first into war how did i find you , why have you left me here to be alone i cant smile i cant breathe i cant function i try lord knows i try but not knowing my future is killing me inside i have to have u i must have you you are mine i wont let you go they wont knock on my door or call my phone i wont let them ill shut it off and lock the door and never answer it ill keep u in my heart ill keep u safe there. no guns no war just us in love just us, just us ,one thing i do believe is i love you i need u and yes ill answer the door and yes ill answer the phone and yes ill be here waiting for 18 months for you to come back to me because one thing i know is i need you i need to believe that you are mine and they cant have you

i believe with myentire being that i found you because you are mine !

to my husband , to my soldier , to my lover

you are mine this i believe