Close your eyes and disappear

jenny - Erin, Tennessee
Entered on December 10, 2008
Age Group: 30 - 50

Can you close your eyes and disappear? I use to think I could close my eyes and click my heels together and it would take me to a far land away from where I was. I would always end up on the pontoon boat. It would smell horrible like dead catfish and the water was green. I could hear my dad’s old jokes. I knew all the punch lines too and knew when to laugh at them. The funny thing about my little adventure is it would relax me so I could return to planet earth back to the everyday nonsense and finish what I was beginning to do. This time I would be relax with a fresh frame of mind so I might be able to focus on what I was doing. I knew I could always return if I had another overload of the brain and just needed a break. I have grew-up now and I know that there is no disappearing act that will make things better. Interesting enough I still use that method of closing my eyes, taking slow deep breaths and entering only in my mind the stinky pond on my fishing trips with my dad. This is my way to chill out.

I believe everyone needs a way out. Not permanently of course. This technique is safe and it helps me. I will say, sometimes people think I’m a little crazy. When they see my eyes close and everyone around me is talking and you can tell I’m alive. I seem to be just sitting there. People that don’t know that I do this always end up asking me if I am okay. I reply, yes then I go to tell them what I am doing. I get looks like “you’re out there alright”. Or I get comments of “alright then”. They have a funny look on their face as they walk away. I have even been asked, are you on drugs? My answer is no, I just have to laugh that people don’t understand my unique way of handling stress or as I call it an overloaded brain.

I have went from being ten years old thinking I could magically disappear to being an adult and mental releasing my thought to disappear to a time that was fun, stinky but none the less fun. It’s my way of stopping the brain aching moment I was having and replace it with thoughts of me laughing. It works for me. The next time your brain is on overload and you are having exploding thoughts close your eyes and dare to disappear.