This I Believe

sean - biloxi, Mississippi
Entered on December 10, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family
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This I Believe: Parenthood Should be Planned

I believe that every potential parent should evaluate their life and future before deciding to have children. There are many situations that we see every day in which parents have regrets about having kids. I have many friends who had kids by accident and it changed the landscape of their life forever. I know people who have kids so they can get tax breaks from the government, I know women who will try to get pregnant if they find a man who has a lot of money. Having kids is something that should be thought out, planned ahead, and come with great commitment. That is commitment to the kid, but also commitment to the other parent, and a monetary plan to ensure that the child has everything it will need, and occasionally things that he or she may want. I personally am not going to have the money or resources anytime soon to be able to have children. I have trust issues due to the fact it is impossible to predict somebody having a change of heart or keeping the child away from you. I would go crazy if I had to pay child support to the mother and only get to see my kid on weekends or holidays. The most shocking part of all this is the fact that people have unprotected sex with other individuals in which they might not love, respect, or even trust. This creates a dangerous situation in which 2 people feel obligated to stay together for the child, all the while having their own agenda. This is where dysfunctional families affect the child’s ability to learn communication skills and many times exposes them to violence in the home. Having a decent job and a structured way of spending is often overlooked when the topic is parenting. Having a kid before the age of twenty-one is sometimes creates a demanding situation. This makes going back to school very difficult and if there is no specialized trade or skill, two jobs may be necessary to take care of business. Having a child should not be a choice based on impulse. People who plan to graduate college, find a good job, and possibly find the right person are on the right track. I have heard estimates that suggest the average cost of having a child costs between seventy-thousand and one-hundred and twenty thousand. The average person has trouble putting that into perspective. Finding a decent neighborhood is also important to the whole family. I conclude by saying that a parent’s future is directly correlated to the future of the children.