Why wont your claim me?

Josie - lead wood, Missouri
Entered on December 9, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family, fear

I still remember everything as if it was yesterday. Mom was lying on the floor crying when I came home from school again, only this time was worse.

As far back as I can remember my parents fought. Sometimes worse than others. My father never liked me, he favored my sister and said my last name shouldn’t even be Pinkston because I didn’t deserve the last name. I wasn’t good enough for him to claim me as his own.

I remember the day my sister punched me in the face for no reason and my dad was there, but he told her good job, as I fell crying. That night I sat in my room crying so hard I could hardly breathe saying, “My daddy and sister hate me!” as my mom held me tight, trying to make me feel better.

My father was very abusive when I was little. He was only abusive to my mother and me. My sister was his golden child. He taught her about cars and four wheelers. She was always in the garage helping him. He took her racing and even to the nationals. Finally, about three years later I got to race but only at The Sikeston Racepark. I loved it, the feeling that maybe I would be treated like my sister, he might claim me as his own, maybe be proud of me.

At one point, my dad held my mom at the house and wouldn’t let her go anywhere. I remember seeing my father hold my mom between his legs and every time she would move, he would slap her in the face as hard as he could. He broke her nose that night. Another night I was in the kitchen of my house trying to get something to drink, when a fight began between my parents again dad threw a glass at her. She ducked and it missed her and hit the icebox. Then he grabbed her by the throat and she yelled for me to call 911! I hurried to the phone, grabbed it and dialed 9-1 and then dad yelled,” IF YOU CALL IM BEATING YOUR ASS!” in terror I hung up the phone and ran to my room, hearing the screaming and fighting all night as I sat up in my bed crying, hoping it would be over soon.

Seeing all of this happen to my mother and me hurt. This is why I believe that men should be real men and love the women in their life.