My Vice

Cecilia - Arizona
Entered on December 8, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
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Addiction

I was only fourteen, a freshman in high school. I’ve never heard of drugs let alone done drugs. I was sitting at an acquaintance house everyone there was smoking weed, something I have never seen. When the steam roller came to me I inhaled and copied what I saw the other kids doing. I enjoyed my first high ever; little did I know that this moment in time would change my life and later make me believe in the power of addiction. This I believe.

Over a period of a year I came to smoke marijuana every day, I saw nothing wrong with this at the time nor did I see the spiral my life began to spin. I told my parent of this habit, my step dad soon began smoking weed with me as well to help the pain from his broken back; my mom neither I liked him taking the harsh pain pills the doctor subscribed. This would later affect my life as well.

After a year of smoking and skimming by in classes I started my sophomore year. About halfway through why year, it was a normal typical school day I went to my car. On the way back from my car I was stopped and escorted to the office. Sitting there in the cold long hallway I felt numb, with over two hundred oxycotin pills in my backpack that I started selling when step dad started smoking with me, I knew everything was about to change.

After being arrested and pleading guilty to having a controlled substance on school property my mother and I thought it was time for me to go to rehab. Rehab was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. I met the most interesting people and learned so much about myself, who I was, what I believed in, I found myself once again I was Cecilia again. In rehab I learned how to laugh without the help of drugs, I left rehab feeling alive, renewed and ready for a new beginning.

After leaving rehab I graduated high school early and stayed clean for over a year. I soon moved to Phoenix and started a job that had me around bad habits again. Relapse, a word I knew well from rehab and this I had done. I’ve been in Phoenix for over two years now and continue to smoke daily, this is my daily struggle and coping mechanism.

Even when I look back and say getting arrested from drugs was the worst experience of my life, I can’t find the strength to stay clean and sober. I look at everything I’ve been through and what I’ve learned and do not understand why I continue to spend my last dime on marijuana. This is why I believe in addiction and the hold it may have on individuals. I take it one day at a time, that’s all I can do.