My Vice

Cecilia - Arizona
Entered on December 8, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.


I was only fourteen, a freshman in high school. I’ve never heard of drugs let alone done drugs. I was sitting at an acquaintance house everyone there was smoking weed, something I have never seen. When the steam roller came to me I inhaled and copied what I saw the other kids doing. I enjoyed my first high ever; little did I know that this moment in time would change my life and later make me believe in the power of addiction. This I believe.

Over a period of a year I came to smoke marijuana every day, I saw nothing wrong with this at the time nor did I see the spiral my life began to spin. I told my parent of this habit, my step dad soon began smoking weed with me as well to help the pain from his broken back; my mom neither I liked him taking the harsh pain pills the doctor subscribed. This would later affect my life as well.

After a year of smoking and skimming by in classes I started my sophomore year. About halfway through why year, it was a normal typical school day I went to my car. On the way back from my car I was stopped and escorted to the office. Sitting there in the cold long hallway I felt numb, with over two hundred oxycotin pills in my backpack that I started selling when step dad started smoking with me, I knew everything was about to change.

After being arrested and pleading guilty to having a controlled substance on school property my mother and I thought it was time for me to go to rehab. Rehab was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. I met the most interesting people and learned so much about myself, who I was, what I believed in, I found myself once again I was Cecilia again. In rehab I learned how to laugh without the help of drugs, I left rehab feeling alive, renewed and ready for a new beginning.

After leaving rehab I graduated high school early and stayed clean for over a year. I soon moved to Phoenix and started a job that had me around bad habits again. Relapse, a word I knew well from rehab and this I had done. I’ve been in Phoenix for over two years now and continue to smoke daily, this is my daily struggle and coping mechanism.

Even when I look back and say getting arrested from drugs was the worst experience of my life, I can’t find the strength to stay clean and sober. I look at everything I’ve been through and what I’ve learned and do not understand why I continue to spend my last dime on marijuana. This is why I believe in addiction and the hold it may have on individuals. I take it one day at a time, that’s all I can do.