This I believe:
It has come to me recently how a relationship can begin almost anew with not a lot of work.
Previously when my relationships have ended they were with a mourn and a thud never to be revived again. Burning bridges was my montra while walking over the lifeless friend. Growing up has given me perspective on my losses & how I’ve pushed those most precious to me away. What I’ve come to believe is that the ones I’ve thrown off in mere petulance were some of the deepest friendships in my life. Now at 55,being in a reflective mode, I’ve let people pass through my life who’ve in earnest changed me for the better. Maybe I’ll never see some of those women again but the woman, in my recent past, who I haven’t seen or talked to much in the last 3 years is somewhat back. Of course she & I will never regain that same closeness. Everybody knows you can’t throw a stone in the same spot twice. But before my leaving D.C. for a move to Florida, she wanted to pay me a visit. While spending some hours catching up we never broached old hurts that had scorced our hearts; or touched on the issues that left us both feeling deserving of an apology. However, the conversation and sharing created a new doorway for me. As we talked about our current lives, our health, her kids, my girlfriend & her recent break-up -our rekindled friendship brought me to a place where I was reminded why I loved her. Reflecting on that memory while we were talking, was all about a deeper us & the kind of feeling I’m not willing to throw away so easily anymore. How important is that? It’s everything because I haven’t lost her friendship for the rest of my life & we can continue on. Hopefully with a feeling of nostalgia and an old shoe comfortableness. It’s incredible how lucky I am for not losing one of my closest friends for the rest of my life but just a mere respite while healing.